Paradox

Many divisions of Christianity agree that all it takes to be saved and go to Heaven after death is to have faith in God and accept the Lord into your heart, I think it's called "salvation by grace and faith" or something along those lines. If this truly is the scenario, then why do so many Christians go for the "fire and brimstone" approach? If you're already set to go to Heaven by accepting God, then what is the point of preaching that people are all going to hell? If you prescribe to this particular approach of salvation through grace, it's not possible to gain "brownie points" with God; you're already loved indiscriminately no matter what you do, as long as you have faith.

That's why I don't understand people who seem to try and do the complete "goodie two shoes" approach, for lack of a more appropriate term. You're already loved, so what's the deal? I'm not at all saying that you should take that "salvation through grace/faith" message and say "Okay, whatever, I believe and I'm saved, so I'm gonna be a shitty person and do whatever I want, no matter how immoral" because, even though I suppose you could technically do whatever you want more or less and still be saved, the values extolled by the bible are just good to follow to be a kind, good person, even if you're irreligious. However, there's no reason to go around with a "holier than thou" attitude and preach out at people, I don't think, which brings me to my next point that confuses me:

I think it's really funny that many "devout" Christians seemingly tend to pass judgement on others, even other Christians. I am a Christian. I accept Jesus and God. However, I don't follow the same views on the matter as every other Christian, but why does that make me a worse Christian? Even if I were to totally reject the idea of Christianity, I don't see why so many Christians take that as a right to judge and ostracize those who have that viewpoint. It's just a different world view, and by judging those people, the very values Christians try and uphold are blatently disregarded.

Confusing stuff.

Missing Pieces

It sucks going out with your friends, and having what should be a perfect day, but knowing you could be even happier and feel settled if the person you love was there with you. It's like a puzzle piece is missing. Call it a dramatic or cliched analogy, but it's fairly accurate.

I love my friends, I love my city, I love my school, but it's not the same...kind of like a perpetual limited happiness. Maybe that could be viewed as a bad thing, but it's all worth it as soon as I wake up and talk to her or see her, and I suppose it's a testament to the strength of the relationship that both parties feel this way.

Still.

Sigh.

Stressed. Bleh.

You know what feeling isn't fun? Feeling alone. Especially when your own parents are one of the main factors adding to that feeling. No support, even when I need help.

Whatever, stoked on getting an apartment in the summer and next year so I don't have to deal with all that.

Goodnight.

Out of Step

I'm really done with being categorized and being assigned preconceived notions before a chance is given to explain onesself or one's actions.

I get this a lot for the whole straight edge thing. People automatically conclude, just because I associate myself with that and with people who believe the same thing that I:

a) Look down on those who drink.

b) Am antisocial/violent.

c) Continuously pass judgement on a majority of society as a whole.

I seriously hate that. I don't judge those who drink. I try not to judge anyone, which proves to be hard due to basic human nature, but I do try and work on it. I don't agree with the party culture/mentality of some people, the whole "Oh, dudeee I'm gonna get sooo wasted and crunk this weekend and take advantage of drunk chicks"...yeah, I don't like that. But I don't think those are bad people, nor do I judge them, I just don't agree with the mentality.

I'm proud and still continue to enjoy associating myself with straight edge, but I hate it sometimes becuase of the above reasons...sometimes it's not easy to deal with. That sounds cliched but whatever.

That's not the only area that I feel sort of judged upon due to differences of opinion, even judged by some of my own friends, but it's whatever. You can't win 'em all, and I'm comfortable with who I am and where I am in life.

Deep talks about everything under the sun. Nonstop horsepets. Shafer awkwardness. Hollywood cemetary exploring/falling backwards into graves/artsy pictures. Horrible movies/Kim being scared. Waffle House with Meagan. Late night chillaxing. Suprising Nancy. Pictures in the car laughing. Perfect light. 5th Street to Belle Isle. "Vandalized" clues. Secret spot on the water. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Bridge to nowhere. Church Hill. Alley Katz loudness. "Is he staring at me!?" Bottoms Up food babies. Cary Town. First date Deja Vu. Pillow game slash "watching movies" fail. Sitting on roses. Waffle House round two with Richmond Crew. Gift exchanges. Goodbyes :(

Awesome, awesome weekend. Makes me sad that every day can't be the same way...but, so is life. Maybe some day.

Lucky guy.