Tonight

Was awesome. Seeing a bunch of my friends taking time out their Saturday night to come see my band play for the first time made me super happy (for those who are reading this who came, thank you so much! Especially Kim for taking pictures), and it made me happy making new friends from the other bands! I was pretty stoked on how we sounded also, pretty solid considering we've only been writing and practicing for 3 - 4 weeks. People seemed to like us, and we're gonna try and hit the studio to record a demo as soon as possible, as well as schedule more shows this month!

Started...

A new blog type thing over on tumblr, mainly of just opinions and such.

If anyone's interested, check it: http://ericxxx.tumblr.com/

Tomorrow

Seeing one of the original hardcore bands from the 80's. So stoked.

To Peeps Who Follow Me on Here:

To the few friends who follow me on here, if any of you aren't going to the beach on June 11th, you're invited to come check out my band Basement Dweller, we're playing at my friends house that night. Just lemme know if you're interested and I'll hook you up with an address!

If every day of summer could be like yesterday I'd be really happy.

Woke up late, after having an actually decent night's sleep. Showered, had some lunch with my mom, and just chilled around the house till about 3:30ish. At about that time, I picked up my buddy Ricardo and we rolled downtown to go to the river with my good friends James and Morris. Even though it was pretty overcast and there was a huge overpopulation of annoying redneck types (not to judge, but I'm being completely honest, that's just how it was) down there, it was still super fun. We swam around for awhile and rode the currents for awhile, which was cool (and got yelled at by cops, apparently you need a lifejacket to swim more than five feet out when the river's high? Whatever). After awhile, it started getting a little darker, so we started to head back to the city itself. We hit up good ole Panda Veg for the vegan buffet, and saw some friends in there which was cool, then decided to just make it a fat day and got Coldstone after. Hell yes.
After eating to the point of discomfort, we went and hung out on James's porch to digest, and just talked for awhile which is always nice. Afterwards, me and Morris jammed and wrote a few new songs for our band Basement Dweller, which I was super excited about. I headed home after that, and met up with Kim to watch "A Clockwork Orange" and just hang out, which was really nice as always.

Awesome.

Past Few Days (Condensed)

Definitely been a really busy past few days!

My big ole head singing along

---

Sunday: Cook Out. Basement Dweller loudness/friend hangs for a bit. River (kinda a fail due to flooding but whateva, still cool). Warehouse hangs before the show. Dead End Path/Title Fight craziness. Kim crowd surfing. Sing alongs. Legit one of the best days of the summer so far.

Monday: Gaming all morning and chillin' by my lonesome, then scooped up Ace and Ricardo. Hanging at Hold it Down tattoo shop all day, talking about porn and fights and tattoos and other cool dude stuff with the people there. Bonfire later on with smores and Jackass. Definitely a good day and night.

Tuesday: River with Kim and Liz. Adventuring. Waterfalls. Walking over beaver dams. Being caught in thunderstorms. Burritos. "Nap" time. Bike rides. Downtown chillin' then Liz's place chillin'.

Wednesday: Hangin' at Kim's. Olive Garden with the madre. Deep Run Park with the girlfriend then Short Pump. Some alone time, then a quick late night hangout. Good day and night as always.

I need to figure out a way to stop being a disappointment to myself.

Why I'm Stoked on This Summer

-Music. Sooo excited for my music possibilities this summer, real talk. I've just been asked to take over playing lead guitar for the band American Ruins, which I'm super happy about. It's gonna be awesome being a part of a band that's signed to an independent label (sinkswimpress.com, check it out), that already has an established fan base in Richmond, that's going to actually be active, and that some of my best friends are already in. Also my project band with my good buddy Morris, Basement Dweller, is starting to shape up a lot, so that'll be sick once it gets off the ground. Just gotta save up for an amp stack...sigh.

-My girlfriend. Pretty self explanatory. She's freaking awesome, still can't believe that she's willing to deal with all my nonsense, for almost a whole year now!

-My (relatively) new friend group. While a lot of the kids I hang out with went to Freeman, I wasn't that great of friends with them before college, and I've met a ton of awesome new people since going to VCU that I've been hanging with. I'm really happy that I finally have a super tight group to be with and to get into crazy shenanigans with. I count myself very fortunate to have them.

-Downtown in general. Late nights walking around the streets and down alleys amongst the tall buildings. River hangs. Diving off of things. Belle Isle. Running around Jackson Ward. Hardcore shows. I love my city.

:)

You know what pisses me off? People complaining/downplaying the death of Osama Bin Laden. Alright, first we need to divide the categories of people pissing me off into two groups. We've got the Debby Downers, who are all like "Well, this won't do anything for the overall war effort. He was just a figurehead/just one person, it doesn't matter." Really? Considering he was one of the main architects of a terrorist attack that took out a whole bunch of people on US soil, who's to say he couldn't plan something of that magnitude again? Shit, even if it doesn't help in the greater scheme of things, we killed someone who took the lives of thousands of innocent people, including Muslims, all under the idea that he was doing it and following his own religion. That brings me to my next group of people, those who are like "Well we shouldn't celebrate the death of anyone." You know what? Yeah we should. Get off your moral high horse and come back to reality. Why would you not celebrate the death of a murderer/terrorist/brainwasher/religious criminal? It did no one any favor to have someone like that walking the earth. This has nothing to do with patriotism, just acceptance of logic.

Also, 'merica.

Why can't anything be simple to me? It's weird, honestly. My thought process for a lot of things goes as follows: Someone tells me something, be it fact or opinion, and my mind immediately goes running, processing it in that big ole Hoyt head, seeing if there are holes in it or if it makes sense to me. Now I don't do this for all things, I'm not that bad with it. I can accept a lot of things as fact at face value, and I'll always respect everyone's opinions (to the best of my ability). I just wish for some things, like religion, that I could just accept things with full faith and not have to reason it out. Sigh. Maybe someday.

Happy 4/20

I'm gonna be blunt (pun intended), if you smoke weed, I probably don't like you, and not because of the whole straight edge thing, just because everyone I've ever seen high is just a slow, stupid sounding more boring and less funny version of their true self.

Randomly thought about this. What's the deal with flamboyantly gay people? First off, don't get me wrong, I'm totally down with gay people. I'm friends with a few, and they're completely cool and nice people. However, when a gay person gets way flamboyant with it, then it bugs me. Not because of the way they act, but because of the message behind it. Like, we get it dude, you're gay. Not a big deal, no need to overcompensate or blow it out of proportion. I don't walk around yelling about how I wanna make sweet love to all the ladies or how awesome boobs are, so what's the deal?

Just a random thought.

Know what blows? It's really nice out, spring time is in full effect, everyone's getting all romantic and whatnot and couples get to hang out outside, but I can't be with the one person I want to spend time with.

This song is sweet.

Things I miss.

Sorry, long one.

-My girlfriend. Which is kinda ridiculous considering I've been reaaaally lucky and have gotten to see her a bunch recently, but I won't see her for 3 weeks, and after seeing her so often, that seems like a long time. That and seeing her so much has made me realize exactly how lucky I am to have someone who's always there for me, and who has made me consistantly happy for the past 10 months, so being made so happy by her presence just puts it into harsher contrast the times that she isn't here. Sigh.

-Being in elementary school. I don't really miss the actual age from when I was an elementary schooler, or anything like that. I love being 19! I love being in college. However, I do miss how carefree I was back then. The biggest drama among friends was who got picked first in kickball. You didn't have to worry about grades, you didn't have to worry about money, you didn't have to worry about crime, you didn't have to worry about all the emotions that come with maturity. It was kind of nice. Honestly, I wouldn't trade my age or where I am now in life for anything, but sometimes I do miss how easy it was back then. Not that I really have it hard now, but you get what I mean.

-My dog being young. I was looking at Polly lying on the couch the other day, and it really made me sad. Polly's getting up there in age, and has various health complications that sort of slow her down and keep her from being fully happy it seems. I love that dog so much, and it hurts seeing her unhappy and in pain, and it'll hurt even more when the day comes that she's not with us anymore. I miss running around the house and lawn with her, and seeing how lively she was when she was younger. Jesus.

-I miss being able to unquestioningly follow my faith. Nowadays it seems like I microanalyze each aspect of Christianity, and I don't understand or have trouble believing certain parts of my faith. I miss the days (which weren't all that long ago) when I could simply take what was preached at face value and have full faith.

-I miss being really close to my mom. I feel like I've upset her a bunch with school related stuff and whatnot, and that it's kind of put a small rift in our relationship. It sucks going home and feeling stressed around her now, as opposed to how open and easy everything was before. I need to work on that.

Faith.

My perspective.

I completely understand youth groups and their purpose. When I went to a youth group, I admit that it was nice having a group of like-minded Christians who had the same religious perspective as myself and who would support me in my faith. However, while I was in that youth group, I sort of think that my faith began to stagnate. I felt growth in my faith at first from being surrounded by fellow Christians, but later on I sort of felt that I had hit an impasse...nothing challenged my faith and no one brought new perspectives into light about it, which I suppose is comfortable but not exactly stimulating or conducive to growth in my opinion.

Fast forward a few years, and I'm in college downtown at VCU. The set of friends I've made are certainly a different crowd than those in my youth group; of about the 15 people I hang out with most, only myself and maybe three others are Christian. As for the others, it's a mix of (mostly) atheists and agnostics. In the beginning, constantly being around those who truly believe that there is no God (for personal reasons; these aren't just atheists who choose to be so because they want to seem edgy, they all have had things happen in their lives to bring them to this point) was somewhat of a challenge, and I thought I felt my faith slipping a bit, or that I wasn't the same Christian as I was before. However, after awhile, I really started to listen to what they said and believed in terms of religion, and I realized that I wouldn't want to live with no hope for anything to look forward to after death, and with nothing to rely on but myself. I feel that from hanging out with these people my overall faith has grown stronger, because I have seen those without faith, had my beliefs questioned and even insulted at times, and yet I can still feel God's presence.

It's definitely been refreshing and revitalizing in terms of my faith to be around those with such radically different perspectives. I'm not in any way saying being around other Christians all the time in youth groups or other organizations is a bad thing at all; for some people, that approach to Christianity works best. For me however, getting outside of the traditional box and broadening my horizons was the change of pace I needed.

Final Four.

I Love My School.

Rawkstar lyfe. Not really.

Haven't posted on this joint in awhile. Not really sure what to write about, kinda feeling sleepy and sickish (what else is new), sooo I'm not feeling too deep tonight...hmmm...spring break!

Spring break was awesome. The first part of break pretty much consisted of me just hanging around my house and doing yard work and relaxing, which honestly was awesome. Some of my friends had been being sorta dramatic and whatnot leading up to break, so it was cool to just sorta remove myself from all that for a bit.

Come friday of that week however, all relaxing stopped, as I was going on a weekend tour with my friends band, Break Away! I was dropped off at the Warehouse at about 11am that morning by my friend Ellie, and met up with the band there. We got a little later start than expected because of one of the guys' dogs having some health problems that morning, but it was no biggie...or so we thought. We were heading up to Jersey, and because of our delays we ended up hitting rush hour traffic in DC at about 5pm, which SUCKED. To sum that up, it turned what would have been a four hour drive into a six hour drive, which isn't too bad, but not the most comfortable thing in the world when crammed into a van full of eight big guys!The NJ show was alright. Kind of a weird scene where they played, not too many people came out, and there was just sorta an odd feel to the whole thing. Still, it was pretty cool overall, and we met up with the band Compound, who are definitely good dudes. We stayed at some guy in the band Lifeless's house that night...which was kinda sketchy. Not the best part of Jersey, judging by the gunshots (yes...gunshots) we heard that night. Sleeping on a hardwood floor's kinda a bummer too, but it was a place to stay and the guy who owned the place was really chill.

Saturday, we woke up early, ate at some awesome bagel place, then peaced out to Washington DC, where we were gonna meet up with the band Compound again and hang out before the Harrisonburg show. DC was definitely cool; it always is. We checked out the art museum (always funny to see a bunch of big tattoo'd rough looking guys appreciating art), the Indian museum, and all the monuments, typical touristy stuff. Good times for sure. At about 7, we left DC for Harrisonburg, home of good ole JMU. We got there at about 9, with the show starting at 10pm. The place was way cool, some heavily spray painted basement in a kid's house. The crowd there was much more receptive of the band, though they seemed a little taken aback at how rough the kids from Richmond and New York were. Whatever, just having a good time haha. Kim came to meet up with us and check out the show too, which was obviously awesome, even though I only saw her for a couple hours. Sigh.

After the show, we hit the road again at about 1am, which put us back in RVA at about 4am. Ellie again saved the day and picked me up from the Warehouse, and I spent the next day sleeping until the final show on the tour, which was of course at the ole Casa de Ware.
Honestly, this was one of the most memorable weekends I think I'll ever have. It was way cool getting to travel around in a van and sorta experience the touring lifestyle, I liked it a lot. Not to mention just getting to spend a weekend goofing around with crazy friends, that's guaranteed good times. I met a bunch of awesome people, and made my friendships with preexisting friends even stronger, so that's another plus for the tour.

Fun.

It really is an amazing thing to be able to talk all day to a person that you've been talking to for two years, and more or less every day for the past almost nine months, and still be able to get on the phone at night and talk about whatever for three hours. Craziness, in an awesome way. Never had it before, and wouldn't trade it for anything. Nice to have someone who you know will always be there. :)

Paradox

Many divisions of Christianity agree that all it takes to be saved and go to Heaven after death is to have faith in God and accept the Lord into your heart, I think it's called "salvation by grace and faith" or something along those lines. If this truly is the scenario, then why do so many Christians go for the "fire and brimstone" approach? If you're already set to go to Heaven by accepting God, then what is the point of preaching that people are all going to hell? If you prescribe to this particular approach of salvation through grace, it's not possible to gain "brownie points" with God; you're already loved indiscriminately no matter what you do, as long as you have faith.

That's why I don't understand people who seem to try and do the complete "goodie two shoes" approach, for lack of a more appropriate term. You're already loved, so what's the deal? I'm not at all saying that you should take that "salvation through grace/faith" message and say "Okay, whatever, I believe and I'm saved, so I'm gonna be a shitty person and do whatever I want, no matter how immoral" because, even though I suppose you could technically do whatever you want more or less and still be saved, the values extolled by the bible are just good to follow to be a kind, good person, even if you're irreligious. However, there's no reason to go around with a "holier than thou" attitude and preach out at people, I don't think, which brings me to my next point that confuses me:

I think it's really funny that many "devout" Christians seemingly tend to pass judgement on others, even other Christians. I am a Christian. I accept Jesus and God. However, I don't follow the same views on the matter as every other Christian, but why does that make me a worse Christian? Even if I were to totally reject the idea of Christianity, I don't see why so many Christians take that as a right to judge and ostracize those who have that viewpoint. It's just a different world view, and by judging those people, the very values Christians try and uphold are blatently disregarded.

Confusing stuff.

Missing Pieces

It sucks going out with your friends, and having what should be a perfect day, but knowing you could be even happier and feel settled if the person you love was there with you. It's like a puzzle piece is missing. Call it a dramatic or cliched analogy, but it's fairly accurate.

I love my friends, I love my city, I love my school, but it's not the same...kind of like a perpetual limited happiness. Maybe that could be viewed as a bad thing, but it's all worth it as soon as I wake up and talk to her or see her, and I suppose it's a testament to the strength of the relationship that both parties feel this way.

Still.

Sigh.

Stressed. Bleh.

You know what feeling isn't fun? Feeling alone. Especially when your own parents are one of the main factors adding to that feeling. No support, even when I need help.

Whatever, stoked on getting an apartment in the summer and next year so I don't have to deal with all that.

Goodnight.

Out of Step

I'm really done with being categorized and being assigned preconceived notions before a chance is given to explain onesself or one's actions.

I get this a lot for the whole straight edge thing. People automatically conclude, just because I associate myself with that and with people who believe the same thing that I:

a) Look down on those who drink.

b) Am antisocial/violent.

c) Continuously pass judgement on a majority of society as a whole.

I seriously hate that. I don't judge those who drink. I try not to judge anyone, which proves to be hard due to basic human nature, but I do try and work on it. I don't agree with the party culture/mentality of some people, the whole "Oh, dudeee I'm gonna get sooo wasted and crunk this weekend and take advantage of drunk chicks"...yeah, I don't like that. But I don't think those are bad people, nor do I judge them, I just don't agree with the mentality.

I'm proud and still continue to enjoy associating myself with straight edge, but I hate it sometimes becuase of the above reasons...sometimes it's not easy to deal with. That sounds cliched but whatever.

That's not the only area that I feel sort of judged upon due to differences of opinion, even judged by some of my own friends, but it's whatever. You can't win 'em all, and I'm comfortable with who I am and where I am in life.

Deep talks about everything under the sun. Nonstop horsepets. Shafer awkwardness. Hollywood cemetary exploring/falling backwards into graves/artsy pictures. Horrible movies/Kim being scared. Waffle House with Meagan. Late night chillaxing. Suprising Nancy. Pictures in the car laughing. Perfect light. 5th Street to Belle Isle. "Vandalized" clues. Secret spot on the water. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Bridge to nowhere. Church Hill. Alley Katz loudness. "Is he staring at me!?" Bottoms Up food babies. Cary Town. First date Deja Vu. Pillow game slash "watching movies" fail. Sitting on roses. Waffle House round two with Richmond Crew. Gift exchanges. Goodbyes :(

Awesome, awesome weekend. Makes me sad that every day can't be the same way...but, so is life. Maybe some day.

Lucky guy.

My friends

Are ridiculous.

Activities the past week or so have included: tagging up condemned buildings....trying to get into creepy hobo houses....me being strangled with a scarf until i almost pass out (not cool, Ryan)....recording impromptu folk jams....trying to crash random parties....bringing the unwelcome mosh to a "chill" house show....meeting sketchy (to say the least) hardcore people from other states at seedy bars....turning cooking spray and lighters into flamethrowers and lighting other friends' clothing on fire (by mistake, or so my friend claims)....Stop sign target practice on well populated streets with a BB gun....fixed gear crashes on night rides at 20mph....stepping in hobo poop....late late night talks....band acoustic sing alongs....late night waffle house runs....

craziness, but good times.

Dar de Gracias

Thank you for telling me how you honestly feel about things. Thank you for staying true to yourself and what you want. Thank you for trying to understand where I come from on things that you don't always agree with. Thank you for respecting my opinions, even when they're illogical. Thank you for dealing with me and still talking to me even when I get over emotional and frustrated about things, especially when I don't always know how to explain how I feel about things. Thank you for still staying with me even when I get jealous sometimes and have unfounded worries. Thank you for putting up with the hardship of long distance for me. Thank you for helping me work on becoming more close to my religion. Thank you for all the hours of talking for the past two years. Thank you for putting laugh lines on my face, even on the most bleak days. Thank you for working with me as a pair to get through hard times. Thank you for all the memories.

3/4ths of a year. 273.75 days. Some people might argue that that's a long time, especially when most of it is spent apart from the person that you care about. Gotta say though, doesn't seem like eight months at all, I mean it does, but I guess time feels different when you feel a relationship getting stronger as the time passes, and when you feel like there's a future for the two of you. Really an amazing feeling, can't say I've felt it before, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Gracias por todos de las memorias, chica :)

Thinking.

In some weird mood tonight, not quite sure why. Today was a pretty good day, if not maybe a little boring. Had class from 12 - 4 pretty much, then psychology at 7 till 10 basically, which was sorta draining, maybe all the work piled on in one day is bringing me down a little? Not sure. But just feeling kinda out of it, I dunno, maybe a little down on myself or something, nothing major though haha. Lately I've been worrying about things too much, just school and whatnot and little dumb things, making me sorta feel uptight and stressed I suppose. Also been feeling like my friends/family/people in general don't care about my feelings on things sometimes or my opinions, kinda like I talk or try to get out my own opinion/view of things but if they see it differently they just ignore what I'm saying, stuff like that. Probably just being overreactive, I'm not really upset about it haha just thinking...shit, could just be the weather, it's gross out. I dunno. Just been kinda hard on myself recently, oh well.

Other than this random little funk though life is good! My grades are looking up even though I'm sorta stressed over school, been hitting the gym three or so times a week and feeling good about it, get to see my girlfriend this weekend if the weather permits....good times.

Just gotta keep my chin up haha. Sorry if anyone's construing this as an emoish post, not meant to be.

Had a conversation the other night which kinda hit home in some ways for me. I sorta tried to take an honest look at myself from someone else's perspective, in how I act usually and how I am as a person and a Christian...and honestly I'm not sure how I feel about what I felt and saw. I do think I do a decent job at upholding Christian values and sensibilities, but I can definitely be part time about it. I curse pretty often, I don't consider God and religion all that much in my daily life sometimes, I easily dismiss people and judge them before I really get to know them at all, I have some pretty mean thoughts about people sometimes....all of these things reflect on me and can change others' perceptions of me as a person, maybe not in a completely radical way but in some slight, maybe even subconscious, ways. I don't want my behaviors and views on things to make me grow apart from those I care about who are of stronger faith than me. I won't change who I am at my core, I mean I think that's impossible, God made us each individually to be a certain person, and I wouldn't want to; I like who I am. I'll always have some mean thoughts about things, I can't always accept some parts of religion at face value immediately, I tend to try and interpret things for myself, I won't always be happy, I can't be a perfect person obviously, and things aren't meant to be that way anyways or there would be no reason to worship or have a need for any sort of higher power. However, there are plenty of things I could work on and be more mindful of, and I'm going to try to do that.

Ever have one of those days where you just kinda feel down on yourself? I'm having one today. I'm feeling better now before I drift off to sleep, but yeah, most of today I've just been sorta moody and hard on myself I guess, one of the days where it's hard to look on the bright side of things and you feel like you can't do things right. I guess maybe it's just being overwhelmed with school (i've got a ton of work already and the lesson plans my professors have drawn up are intimidating to say the least), lack of sleep, maybe the people I surround myself with, I dunno.

I feel like I instill regret in people at times. For instance, I know my mother has said that she regrets helping me in early high school and in middle school with my school work, because I had lackluster first semester grades and she feels like I'm not self sufficient enough.

Perhaps saying that I might dissapoint at times is a better word than regret.

I don't know haha. Sorry for this emo-ish post, I'm really not even in that bad of a mood, just kind of thinking and collecting my thoughts via writing.

Tomorrow will be a new and better day.

Lucky.

You know what's amazing? Being fortunate enough to have something great in your life, and then thinking about it and looking towards the future and realizing that it's getting stronger all the time, and feeling really positive and happy about it and that it has the potential to keep getting better and better.

The little Life is Good dude's head above me is basically how I feel. Cept hopefully my head doesn't look like an olive. And we all know my nose isn't exactly nonexistant like his. But yeah.

I often hear people my age saying they wish they could be a child again. On one hand, I can appreciate this. Being a kid was awesome, the only things you had to worry about was doing well in kickball on the playground or if your mom remembered to cut off the crusts on your sandwhich...none of the realities of life have kicked in at that point, at least for me when I was a kid, I know it's different for children who's parents split when they were children and stuff like that.

At the same time though, I don't think I'd change my current age or go back for anything. Sure, when you were a kid you were totally innocent of the ways of the world and life was easy, but now there's a whole world open to you! Sure, it can hurt you or be scary, but all the opportunities that are available and the great things happening outweigh that for me. I'm happy to be growing up and at an age where I can think for myself, be mainly independent, have real, thoughtful conversations with people, drive/go wherever I want, have and maintain an amazing and growing relationship, and everything else that comes with aging.

Even down the road, after college, I can't see myself wanting to go back to my younger years. Yeah, you have a lot more responsibilites, and I suppose at times I might miss the "good ole days" but at the same time there's so much to look forward to: travel, (potentially, if I'm in a field I enjoy) working, living on my own, marriage, buying a house, starting a family...tons of good stuff.

I love looking back on the past and thinking of both the good and bad things that have happened in the past nineteen years, but I try to not get too caught up in what's over with and focus on what's good in my life now, which is a lot :D

Happy.

Amigos.

Yesterday was one of those days that really make you appreciate your friends. I was kinda bummed out in the morning because Kim had left for JMU, and sorta moping around. However, I met up for dinner with like eight of my really good friends, and spent the night at the Warehouse going crazy with a big group of friends also, and all of that definitely cheered me up. My group of friends down at VCU and downtown is definitely composed of some interesting characters with extremely diverse opinions and view points on things, but most of us have a unifying interest in playing music of some or supporting the Richmond hardcore scene.

It's kinda funny, me and Kim were talking about this earlier..in high school, I had a bunch of friends in a few different groups of people. Yeah, of course I had best friends, but not like a core group of a bunch of people that I could consider really good friends and hang out with constantly. Now that I'm in college, I finally have that, and gotta say, it's pretty awesome.

Gone...back to getting used to texting, phone calls, skype, missing her and not seeing each other for weeks/months.

Sad.

You ever get one of those omniscient feelings where you feel as if you can almost see yourself as others see you? It's like you're aware of yourself, not in the usual self-aware ware, thinking your personal thoughts and going about your business, but aware of yourself as sort of a global being; a citizen of the world if you will.

Maybe it's just me haha, I had one of those moments tonight when I was at a house party watching my friends band play. Dunno why, I just did. Instead of being all caught up in my own personal thoughts and dramas, I just kinda saw myself as an awkwardly tall college student, more or less at ease with the situation at hand but still kinda trying to look "tough" to fit in with the guys. It was weird, kinda startling haha. I guess it was just zoning out.

Weird feeling.

Resolutions.

-Do way better the next semester grade wise. I didn't do horrible, but no where near my potential, and if I want transfer to even be an option, I need to step my game up. Less hangs, more studying.
-Be more responsible. Sometimes I can be a little cavalier with my money or even how I manage my time...this kinda goes hand in hand with grades too. If I'm trying to get an apartment next year, gotta show the old folks that I can handle my business.
-Get a summer job. I'll definitely need some money this summer, and I can't stand asking my parents for it, I feel like a bum.
-Potentially tattoo'd? I'm feelin' it muahaha.
-Be a better friend/boyfriend. Pretty self explanatory.
-Stop being judgemental. I try not to, but sometimes it's hard not to do, and I can work on it. Just gotta give some people a chance y'know?
-Work on music. That's a big part of my life and I wanna get better at it.
-Work out and get RIPPED. Haha not really but I just wanna tone up some.

Sayonara 2k10, Hola 2k11. Gonna be a good year :)