"Dare me to eat the whole thing in one bite?"

Past couple days have been really good on the most part. Yesterday hung out with my girlfriend, dragged her around downtown, got misunderstood at Krispy Kream (...AND THAT'S WHY YOU WORK AT KRISPY KREAM, BITCH."), got down with some Jill Juice, checked out my dorm and ze Warehouse, strolled through the ghetto, drank soda from an old fashioned bottle, ate with my crazy familia, got chased by ducks/failed at attempts to scare office workers at Innsbrook, and watched a...scary...to Kim, at least...movie and Ferris Bueller TWISTTT AND SHOUTTTT. I look like Matthew Broderick. I wish. Really fun day cept for some dude named Tom kept pestering my girlfriend...what a jerk, next time I see him he's gonna get a taste of ole thunder and lightning (my biceps...more like finger snapping noise and spark..but it's the thought that counts right?).

Today was good too, except for some annoying stuff this morning/night but it's all good baby baybuhh. Went college shopping in the afternoon with my mom, it was good, I guess as good as shopping for such things can be. Later I went to my friend Tommy's house with the bro squadron, messed with people's facebooks and such and then ate at China Xpress, which upheld its thusfar unchallenged title of worst Chinese place in Richmond. Overpriced (I mean they even charge for water, how cheap can you get, c'mon), the food pretty much sucks...yet we still keep going there. Pretty much a weird tradition at this point.

Afterwards we went to mi casa, pretty much trashed my room (thanks Ricardo), had quickdraw competitions, then had the bright idea of going to Caliente, the place on Man vs. Food, home of the "Hottest Wings on the East Coast", or so they claim. Me and my man Ben felt cocky enough to challenge that bold claim, and one single measly "Stupid Hot" flavor wing later, it proved to be incredibly accurate. After a few bites I was gagging, my lips felt like they were literally ablaze and my eyes were tearing, and after finishing only one wing I threw in the towel, downed a pitcher of water, puked everything out, got wing sauce in my eyes and could barely see, and still feel sick to my stomach as I type, hours later haha. Whatever. Worth it for the memory. After that I thought I had plans but they fell through, so I was stranded. Thankfully my girlfriend somehow doesn't mind putting up with my incessant annoying banter and comments and kept me company; I'm a lucky guy.

Overall a good couple of days if I do say so myself.

Wish.

Just a few random thoughts. Not meant to be self-pitying or sad or anything of the sort, just a few things I want to try to work on, or wish I had improved over the years. In a thoughtful mood I suppose.

See it's me being thoughtful:

I wish I had tried more in high school. I suppose I'm at the school I want to go to...but I feel like I could have done better, and I would have liked more options. In the end it all boiled down to me not wanting to put in the work, and it kinda sucks looking back and thinking "Wow. I wish I had done what needed to be done." Not to mention my academic failings led to the majority of fights with my parents and stuff like that. Bummer.

I wish I was more religious I suppose. I know it disappoints my mom, I question everything and don't agree with many beliefs in my religion. I suppose it's just part of my personality, I find it difficult to accept things that can't necessarily be proved or seen in action in every day life. I mean I certainly believe in a higher being; the Big Bang Theory makes sense but you have to ask, where did the matter that triggered the Big Bang come from, y'know? But then I look at the world at large, and the current state of affairs in the world. Why would God value me, or say any number of non-believers or criminals over those who died in the Haiti earthquake? Value isn't the right word...I guess why would he spare those who reject or question him, when thousands of probably devout Christians perished in the earthquakes over there? I can't buy the "God wants those most devout close to him" view or anything like that, sorry, but what's gonna happen to their children? Children need parents especially in that part of the world, where drugs, violence, and corruption are so prevalent. I can't see a kind God wanting to subject these children to that without the guidance of parents. I don't know. I look at a bunch of my friends and wish I could have their faith. Maybe it'll hit me when I'm older, maybe not. It's who I am I guess, for good or bad.

I wish I knew what to say in some situations, and how to make people feel better at times. On that note I wish I was a better friend sometimes also.

I wish I had a sense of direction. Actually scratch that, I love getting lost, as long as I guess my life's not in danger haha.

I wish I could grow a legit beard. I mean I can grow a solid neckbeard, it's full to say the least, and my sideburns are things to be reckoned with. Same with my creeper moustache. But on my chin itself and the surrounding area, it's like an arid wasteland, with a few scraggly patches of beard here and there. Oh well looks like I'll never be a lumberjack.

I wish I was more true to myself earlier in life, and I wish I hadn't wasted my time on some things.

And that's all for now folks!

And He Was There

To me, the slow click clack of a roller coaster climbing a hill before the initial drop is comparable to the funeral march supposedly played at executions as the condemned is led to his final moments. I'll admit it myself, it's a stupid fear, you're completely safe strapped into the cart. But still, never been a huge fan of things I have no control over I suppose, and it doesn't help that this "thing" in particular hurtles you along twisting, small metal tracks at upwards of 60mph. Crazy stuff.

Today, I conquered that fear. Well, no. Conquering is a little too strong, but I wouldn't liken them to executions anymore maybe just like, I dunno, visits to the doctor's office, but with fun added; still kinda scary but there's some good mixed in there, ya know? I spent pretty much all day at Busch Gardens with my girlfriend, and she managed to get me to agree to ride EVERY SINGLE roller coaster in the park. Even the Griffon, which is like a 100+ foot blue metal behemoth of a coaster with a straight 90 degree drop. Actually this ended up being awesome, honestly the only one I wasn't a huge fan of was maybe Apollo's Chariot (I don't like nonstop crazy drops haha), but the black dude next to me telling me to raise my hands up and "not be gay" helped a lot, not to mention Kim screaming at me to do it. Yes, screaming. Good times :)

Afterwards, we made the obligatory Waffle House trip, saw our partner in crime/favorite waitress Meagan there, had some good conversation, good waffles, and freakin' amazing orange juice. Overall a really good day made even better with some really good company

Little Things I Like

Car rides at night. Being lost. City lights. Black coffee. The smell of guitar strings. People watching. Sand beneath your feet. Rain down a window. Feedback. Being caught in a storm. Fireworks. Heat lightning. Dirt on your hands. High ceilings. Flannel. Winter quiet. The sound of snow falling. Aimless wandering. Dust motes in light. Incense. The cracking noise a new book makes. The smell of books. Abandoned places. Holding hands. Bridges. Buildings. Ice. Laughter. Lights dimming. Crackling leaves.

Good stuff right there.

We be jammin!

Sorry for that bummer of a last post. Just woke up at like 3:30am, felt like jammin'. So here it is. Not very good, but hey i'm half asleep and doing it on the fly so gimme a break haha.

Blah.

You ever feel inadequate? To your own standards, or to others... it sucks. Pretty sure most people feel this way at one time or another, and sometimes it gets me feelin' down on myself. At times I just think I'm saying or doing the wrong things, or unable to express myself in the way I truly feel, whether to friends...my parents...whoever. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with doing so, I try, but it just doesn't come out how I want it to, if that makes any sense. Either that or I feel I don't live up to others expectations. I'm fairly comfortable in my own skin, but I feel like sometimes I've let people down in some ways, or I'm just not doing things "right". I dunno. In a weird mood tonight, I'm tired but I can't sleep. Sorry for this emo sounding post haha I don't like bothering/boring others with stuff like this, not that this is widely read or anything, but still. Oh well.