Had a conversation the other night which kinda hit home in some ways for me. I sorta tried to take an honest look at myself from someone else's perspective, in how I act usually and how I am as a person and a Christian...and honestly I'm not sure how I feel about what I felt and saw. I do think I do a decent job at upholding Christian values and sensibilities, but I can definitely be part time about it. I curse pretty often, I don't consider God and religion all that much in my daily life sometimes, I easily dismiss people and judge them before I really get to know them at all, I have some pretty mean thoughts about people sometimes....all of these things reflect on me and can change others' perceptions of me as a person, maybe not in a completely radical way but in some slight, maybe even subconscious, ways. I don't want my behaviors and views on things to make me grow apart from those I care about who are of stronger faith than me. I won't change who I am at my core, I mean I think that's impossible, God made us each individually to be a certain person, and I wouldn't want to; I like who I am. I'll always have some mean thoughts about things, I can't always accept some parts of religion at face value immediately, I tend to try and interpret things for myself, I won't always be happy, I can't be a perfect person obviously, and things aren't meant to be that way anyways or there would be no reason to worship or have a need for any sort of higher power. However, there are plenty of things I could work on and be more mindful of, and I'm going to try to do that.